I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There's always time for handjobs
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
