I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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