Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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