people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
