I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
