Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
