before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize