She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
