his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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