At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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