i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
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And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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