if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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