Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
