how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
