I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
