Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize