im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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