Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I need to stop coming to work sober
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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