Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
