OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
