Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
