I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
