we're blogging at a bar
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
