My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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