too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
