Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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