i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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