I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
