Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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