her vagine was all disorganized.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
