thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
