I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
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