she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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