Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he thought i was a dude.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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