I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
