I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize