i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
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There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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