I CAN MOONWALK!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
