She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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