I hate your face
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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