Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need to align my fucking chakras
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
