I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
