i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
