Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
