# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
