absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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