He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
