You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm passing your future prison.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
