am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
