My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
