New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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