he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
