At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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