I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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