all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
