distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
