Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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