Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
