Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
