I murdered the dance floor call the cops
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
