i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I need moral support for this bender
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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