you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
