apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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