you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
