she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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