I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
