I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
