Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
