I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
