Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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