Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My dick has a subreddit
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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