he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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