when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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