you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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