this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
