im holly from the hills drunk
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Randomize
