This girl is more easily done than said...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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