I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I look better un-naked...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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