she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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